this week i

published on trends in medicare quality bonus payments.  for the $50 in my pocket at the time, alykhan down the road granted predawn gym access


drew lightning strikes turtles all the way down, and royal ant farms.  and then the full moon fades into the morning, a cosmic magic trick

 

thought of beware banana independently, confirmed someone other than me had also thought of it.  i focused on a jackfruit illustration from long ago

 

watched disney's oscar winner nature doc water birds (1952), each graceful in hunting pose.  but i'd want pet bat, only to call self a childless batman


enjoyed future senator franken's introduction of the grateful dead

good evening ladies and gentlemen, we're the comedy team of franken and davis, and we're going to do about an hour of comedy.  [boos]  hey wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, hold it, hold it, we've got this deal worked out with the dead where the longer we're on, the less they can play, see?  [boos]  hey!  hey!  what?  what?  you don't want us to do an hour of comedy?  [boos]  hey listen, if you people don't quiet down, we're going to get off the stage and the band will have to come on.  [cheers]  what, is that what you people want?  [cheers]  ok, ladies and gentlemen, the grateful dead!

---

we've been talking to a lot of deadheads tonight.  the deadhead we're going to introduce i'm very excited about.  i'm referring to former secretary of state for the united states dr. henry kissinger.
 
it's a pleasure tom.  i think that you and al are doing a wonderful job.
 
ah well thank you very much dr. kissinger.  how are you enjoying the show tonight?
 
oh terrific, terrific, i think the last time i saw the dead play an acoustic set was 1970 filmore east.
 
that's very interesting dr. kissinger.  let me ask you, do you know the grateful dead personally?
 
well i've been a big fan of theirs for years and i finally got to meet them at watkins glen.  and let me say that meeting jerry was a great experience.  the only thing i can really compare it to was when i went to china and met mao.  i don't agree with all of jerry's philosophies, but he's definitely a twentieth century heavyweight, as am i.
 
well thank you very much for talking with us dr. kissinger, say what is that, what is that in your hand?

oh nothing, nothing

oh no wait a minute, wait a minute, these are microphones, what is this?  ohh dr. kissinger, you're making a bootleg recording of tonight's concert

...

fuck you.  you're just like one of those people that telling everyone to sit down all the time.

well what do i have to do?  get a band member to come out here to tell you that you can't record the show?

ok well go ahead, you just do that, tom.  get a band member.

ok bill?  bill kreutzmann?  come here a minute.  dr. kissinger is recording tonight's concert

god dammit henry, gimme the tape
 

 


 

read the magician by colm toibin

in paraty, if you saw three people, then one was talking and the other two were laughing

burn the poem

he must think that suitable men grow on trees

i grew a long beard listening to it

time went slowly in an unfamiliar place

inflation was being blamed on the winners of the war

and they contained accounts of moments that he treasured but could share with no one.  casual glances at young men who had come to his lectures or whom he encountered at a concert.  glances that were sometimes reciprocated and then became unmistakable in their intensity.  while he enjoyed the homage he received in public and appreciated the large audiences he attracted, it was always these chance meetings, silent and furtive, that he remembered.  not to have registered in his diary the message sent by the secret energy in a gaze would have been unthinkable.  he wanted that which had been so fleeting to become solid.  the only way he knew to make this happen was to write it down.  should he have let it pass so that it would have faded completely, this, the story of his life?

perhaps he has written "i am" and is now unsure how he might proceed

no matter how well we paint the face, we struggle to paint hands.  if the devil came here now and asked me what i would want in exchange for eternity under his reign i would ask him to let me paint hands, hands that no one would even notice, perfect hands.  do novelists have a problem like our problem with hands?

if only einstein would listen to him, things would be different

when i informed him that my husband had won the nobel prize in literature, he shrugged.  i did not know that there were people like that in sweden

he knew how to open a pomegranate and fill a bowl with the rich, red seeds.  if that was all he had learned from his mother, it would be enough, he thought

'she calls once a day and i take her call once a week,' mrs roosevelt replied

'why did you marry him?'..'of all the possibilities, present, past and future, your father was the least preposterous'

the war is over, but it casts a long shadow

 

9/19